I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
