i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
