they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
