i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
