I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
