i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
