This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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