well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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