3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
