so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
