So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
But we have bathrooms and they dont
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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