Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
there's paper in my vomit.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
