I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
