i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
