I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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