fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
