i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I smell stomach acid.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
