I heard we made out
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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