I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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