At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
