So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
