Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
