i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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