All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
