Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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