I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
