Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
