D3 body, D1 cock
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
