worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
