Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
