Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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