Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
