mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
