Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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