Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
