this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
