His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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