highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
its liver damage thursday
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