If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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