part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Two words: nipple clamps
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