Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
