Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
