"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
