So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
no, he came in my armpit
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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