I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
