Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
