I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
