I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
