You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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