Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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