So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
