Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
