I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
smell my finger.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
