CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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